Read this before you belong.
UBeLong is a small, verified, human-moderated community — and that only works if the rules are clear, short, and actually enforced. Nine rules. One promise: Logan reads every report personally.
The nine rules
Most of this is just "be a decent person." The rest is what makes this place different.
Be real. One human, one verified profile.
Every member passes the same live video check you will. No catfish, no bots, no borrowed photos, no shared accounts. Verification isn't a badge we sell — it's the door.
No shame. Ever.
Kink, faith, body, recovery, HIV status, how you identify, how you were raised — none of it gets mocked here. Support over judgment, always. If you wouldn't say it to someone's face at their lowest moment, don't type it.
No discrimination. Zero.
Racism, transphobia, biphobia, fem-shaming, serophobia, ableism, ageism within our adult community — none of it, not as a joke, not "just a preference" phrased cruelly. One community, no exceptions, no "it's just my type" as cover for cruelty.
Polyamory is fully welcome.
Solo, coupled, married, open, poly, still figuring it out — every honest relationship structure belongs here. The one ask: be honest on your profile about your situation, so people can choose with clear eyes.
Respect the closet.
Not everyone here is out — not to family, not at work, not anywhere. Discreet and DL members are first-class members. Never speculate about who someone is, never screenshot or share a member's identity, photos, or presence here outside UBeLong.
Faith gets the same respect as everything else.
Believers, doubters, deconstructed, none-of-the-above — faith-shaming is still shaming. In the faith & values room, share your tradition; don't attack anyone else's. Debating whether someone's faith is "valid" isn't connection — it's the thing they get everywhere else.
Kink is consent-first.
Explore the preference tags, talk limits openly, and judge nobody's list — theirs or yours. No unsolicited explicit content, no pressure, no "convincing." Everything here is between consenting adults, and "no" is a complete sentence.
No money moves between members. Ever.
No requests, no "emergencies," no crypto, no gift cards, no fundraising, no selling, no promoting your content or business in DMs. This is the scam rule — and it's the one with no warning ladder. One ask, and you're out (see below).
Ghosting has a price.
Confirm or cancel — don't leave someone standing at a restaurant. No-shows earn a strike; three strikes and you're out. Mutual cancels never earn a strike, and real emergencies with proof get strikes removed. Deposits exist so flaking costs the flaker, not the stood-up.
Zero tolerance — removal on first offense
These skip the ladder. No warnings, no second chances, one appeal window.
Outing a member
Sharing a member's identity, photos, messages, or even the fact that they're here — with anyone outside UBeLong, or using it against them inside it. Outing can cost someone their family, job, or safety. It's the most serious violation short of violence.
Asking another member for money
Any form, any story, any platform they move it to. This is how people — especially lonely people — get robbed, and it will not happen here.
Harassment, threats, or hate
Slurs, threats, targeted cruelty, sexual harassment, relentless unwanted contact after being told no.
Anything involving minors or non-consent
Permanent removal, and a report to law enforcement. There is no version of this community where this is negotiable.
Kink-shaming, faith-shaming, or discrimination of any kind
Yes, even the "joke" version. Especially the joke version. You agreed to this at signup.
How enforcement works
Transparent, human, and appealable — because power without process is just another app.
A private note from Logan about what crossed the line. Most things end here, because most people just needed to know.
Recorded on your account, visible to you. Three strikes — for no-shows or repeated minor issues — and you're out.
A temporary lock while Logan reviews. You get to tell your side first — this isn't a courtroom, but it's not a star chamber either.
For the zero-tolerance list above: immediate. You have 14 days to appeal with proof, and appeals are read personally.
Strikes aren't a mystery: you can always see yours, mutual cancellations never earn one, and proof (screenshots, messages, real emergencies) gets wrongful strikes removed. The point isn't punishment — it's making this the one place where accountability is normal.
Everyone passed the same door
Every member — including you — did a live video verification with a real human. It's a lot harder to be cruel with a face you've actually seen.
Reports go to a person
Not a queue, not an algorithm. Logan reads every report personally, and the safety center shows you what happens to yours.
We teach the scam patterns
The free scam-prevention course walks through exactly how romance scams work, so the first time you see one, it's boring instead of expensive.